INTERPERSONAL SKILLS FOR EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT LEADER

 DO I NEED TO IMPROVE MY INTERPERSONAL SKILLS?

The answer to this question largely depends on your answers to these questions:

1. Does your success at work depend on how people react to you?

If no, you have no need.
If yes, read on.

2. Are you aware of the effect you have on people?

If no, you do have a need.
If yes, read on.

3. Are you aware of how you have that effect on people?

If no, you do have a need.
If yes, read on.

4. Do you often have the effect on people you mean to have?

If no, you do have a need.
If yes, read on.

5. Could an increase in your effectiveness with people make you even more successful than you already are?

If no, you have no need.
If yes, read on.

How can I find out what effect I have on people?
You will get more reliable feedback by asking rather than guessing.  But it takes courage.  Here is a suggestion about how you might do it.
Pick 2 or 3 people you trust, and talk to them along these lines:

"I'm keen to find out how I can improve as a leader/manager/team member/influencer.  I need feedback from people who know what it is like working with me.  You are one of the people whose feedback would be helpful to me.  I want to ask specific questions and I need you to be honest with me.  I will not take offence or hold it against you if you criticise.  Are you willing to help me in this way?"

The more specific the feedback the more valuable it will be - this applies equally to praise as to criticism.  You can help people be specific with their feedback by being specific with your questions, e.g.:

"Can you tell me on a 0 - 10 scale how satisfied you are with the way I run my meetings?  Specifically what do you like and dislike about it?"

Even though the numbers are purely subjective, if you ask someone to identify their strength of feeling on a numerical scale, the feedback will be clearer than if they have to rely on imprecise words such as "very", "not very" or "reasonably".